Sheep in the Big Fanfic
by Bob McDob
Summary: And now, in celebration of Sheep hosting Cartoon Cartoon Fridays...this site's first Sheep In The Big City fanfic! (last time I checked, anyway). It's really, really bad. Or maybe it's not! In any case, please read 'em and weep (and then R&R!)


Some Guy: And now, Man Juggling 10 Ton Anvils! 

(Man comes out, struggling with three 10 ton anvils. He throws them into the air and is crushed) 

Sheep: Baa. 

(CLICK!)   
  
  


Sheep in the Big City!   
Bob McDob   
And now, the obligatory disclaimers...   
Disclaimer: Sheep In The Big City is owned by Curious Pictures, I think. I don't own "Kung Foo Fightin'", "Stronger", Richard Simmons, Chyna, Twinkies, Welch's Grape Juice, or any small Latin American countries - oops, that one was for Part 2. Please don't sue me (even if I seem to be asking for it) as my only real goal is the constant pursuit of Excellence. I AM YOUR SERVANT! WAAAAAAAAAAAA! 

Sheep: Baa. 

Oh...sorry. Anyway, you wouldn't get anything from me except an old AT&T 486 with no hard drive. So please don't sue me. PLEASE! WAAAAAAAAA!...sorry. And now, back to our irregular programming...   
  
  


Chapter 1: Baa To Us, Peasant! 

Narrator: Ahh, the Big City! 

(Pan of Big City. Buildings burn, rioters roam, and parrots loot) 

What could possibly be moe exciting, more romantic? 

(An atomic bomb smashes into Main Street, demolishing eight blocks) 

How about Sheep in a battle of wits with the legendary chess master....General Specific?!? 

General Specific: What're y'all starin' at? HA! King me! 

Narrator: Let's look at how this came about, using several major visual aids! 

Majors: SIR! YES SIR! 

Narrator: Huh? Why, it's General Specific's old adversary and boss, Five-Star General Perpendicular! 

General Perpendicular: (whispering) Actually, it's Punctuation, but I thought that sounded too Italian. 

Narrator: O...kay. Well, I guess we'll have to cutt he history lesson short then. Boy's take it away! 

Major Paine: In 1892... 

Major Boare: ...Columbus sailed the ocean blue... 

Major Headeach: ...To find the legendary Kung Foo... 

Major Mattere: master Ha Foo You! 

All: Kung Foo fighten'! Hya! 

Narrator: Uh, boys: 

Major Chorde: Oh, sorry 'bout that. Basically, Sheep got himself up a couch without a pickle... 

Major Minor: Creek without a paddle... 

Major Chorde: Yeah, right, so General Specific, being the nice, sensitive guy that he is... 

General Specific: KNIGHT TAKES QUEEN! OOH YA! WHO'S YO DADDY? WHO'S YO DADDY! 

Major Chorde: ...he challenged Sheep to an arm wrestling duel! 

Major Minor: And lost. 

General Specific: He cheats, I tell you! That sheep's strong enough for ten french chefs! 

French Chefs: But now I'm Stronger than yesterday! 

Sheep: Baa? 

Major Chorde: Eh heh. So the good General demanded a rematch... 

Majore Minor: Except that it be in the form of a question. 

Major Chorde: And that question was "Move the Horsie?" 

Major Paine: Actually, I said that! 

(Major Paine gets trampled by 10 thousand horsies) 

Narrator: Serves you right. Oh look, we didn't even get to the part where Major Chorde gets into a catfight with Richard Simmons! 

Major Minor: Did you know that Major Chorde is really Chyna's long lost evil twin brother dressed up as a woman dressed up as a man dressed up as a wom-   
(Major Chorde slaps his-her?-his hand over Major Minor's mouth) 

Major Chorde: Eh heh. Don't miss Chapter 2: Much Ado About Mutton! And now a word from our sponser.   
  
  


======COMMERICAL BREAK======COMMERCIAL BREAK======   
  
  


Bad Guy: BWAHAHA! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD WITH THE HELP OF...SUPER MAGICAL FUNKY MONKieS! 

(Da dada da da da!) 

Funky Monkies: Oooh! Ooh ooh! 

Da Voice: Not So Fast, Not-Very-Nice-Person! 

Bad Guy: NOOOOOOO!!!!!! IT'S THE MONKIES! 

Da Voice: I Am Da Man!!! 

Bad Guy: Yeah, what did I say? 

The Monkies: Ooh! Ooh ooh! 

Da Voice: You Can Not Defeat Me, For I Have The One Thing You Cannot Defeat! 

Bad Guy: Oh yeah? What's that? 

Da Voice: OXYMORON MAGICAL TWINKIES! 

Announcer Guy: Yes! 

Bad Guy: Noooooooooo! 

Announcer Guy: It's Oxymoron Magical Twinkies! Not only a fattening snack, it's the most powerful weapon in the world! 

Bad Guy: Noooooooooo! oooooooooooooooo...Wait...Nothings happening! 

Da Man: Oh Yeah? EAT THIS! 

(SPLASH!) 

Bad Guy: NOOOOO! Welches Grape Juice! My one weakness! I'm melting...melting... 

Annoucer Guy: Oxymoron Welches Grape Juice! The fruit juice with the power of an Ox! 

Ox: YOU HAVE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME 

Annoucer Guy: Huh?!? 

Ox: YOU CAN NOT ESCAPE MY GRASP 

(The Magical Twinkie Portal opens, and dozens of Lawyers sweep away the set) 

Annoucer Guy: NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo! ooooooooooooooooooo! oooooooooooooooo!   
  
  


Not Copyright 2001 by Bob McDob. All registered trademarks are copyright by their rightful owners and all non-registered ones...aren't. Remember, I don't actually set out to offend people (I think), so if you have a problem with anything I write, you're prolly just a victim of my spontanious writing. Have a nice day. Oh yeah, please R&R.   
  
  


Ox: PREPARE TO BE ASSIMILATED! WORSHIP ME! HA HA HA!   
  
  
  



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